TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Randomize
