I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
