the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
