and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
