You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
