Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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