careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
