Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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