Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
