Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Barsexuality is the new black.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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