SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
