there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
