so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
