I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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