That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
