Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
