john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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