just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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