It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
