But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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