So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
