i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
