Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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