"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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