My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
