Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
