I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
