then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
