Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We need to get me chipped asap
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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