she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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