So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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