At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
