What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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