At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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