Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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