Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
