If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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