so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
