what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
