singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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