i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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