No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
