I think I won the penis lottery.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
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