hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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