How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
