Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
