she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
