i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
