I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
