I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Someone came in the potted fern
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
